It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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