Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize