i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize