call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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