you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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