I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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