whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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