I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize