either way he was missing a nipple.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
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He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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