my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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