Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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