it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize