Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
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For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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