in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize