i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize