Swine flu. Run for my life!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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