now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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