Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
40s are totally the cure
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize