My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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