Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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