i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize