i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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