Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
When did angry sex become our thing?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize