Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Oh god it's open bar.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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