how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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