yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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