Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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