my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize