I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize