He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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