there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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