thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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