Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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