Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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