did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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