I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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