it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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