Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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