My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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