Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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