Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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