my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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