Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Im part way to drunk.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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