someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize