do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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