You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize