Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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