Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize