I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
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I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
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He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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