fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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