i don't like sucking hair
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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