I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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