You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize