I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize